


Two Burning Hearts Are Dared to Break

by talkfastelle



Series: Two Burning Hearts Are Dared to Break [1]
Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24122395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkfastelle/pseuds/talkfastelle
Summary: “I hate how much I love you”.JJ’s head snapped up, his eyebrows furrowing at her words. Of course he’d known she loved him, Elle wasn’t afraid to let people know that she loved them. She had said it to him a countless number of times. But she’d never said it with a sense of hopelessness behind it. As if loving him physically hurt her. JJ always thought that when people complained of their heart aching that they were being overdramatic. But he felt as if his heart was throbbing, it truly ached, in a way he didn’t think was possible. So he did what he does best, he made it ache even more.“Then stop loving me.”OrJJ and Elle don't know how to cope with the loss of John B and Sarah and take it out on each other, leading Elle into the arms of Topper instead.Picks up directly after 1x10.
Relationships: JJ & Kiara & Pope & John B. Routledge, JJ (Outer Banks) & Everyone, JJ (Outer Banks)/Original Female Character(s), JJ/John B. Routledge, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ/Pope (Outer Banks), JJ/Topper (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron & JJ & Kiara & Pope & John B. Routledge
Series: Two Burning Hearts Are Dared to Break [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740526
Comments: 13
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea in my head since finishing OBX the first time. I want to make it into a slow burn series with angst and pining. Also want different love interests introduced which causes obvious tension (Topper character redemption arc). Let me know if you’d be interested in reading that.  
> Also, I’m Australian so beware of UK spelling habits instead of American eg. Mum vs. Mom.

It’d been roughly an hour of sitting in the makeshift SBI tent, the tropical storm raging on whilst the heavy rain pelted down around it. Pope with one arm around Kie as she continued to sob into his shoulder, her parents sitting in silence beside them. Heyward took the initiative of talking to Shoupe after he had delivered the news, pulling him away from the kids to try and gain some perspective on the matter. Members of the SBI were bustling in between the tents, continuing on with their investigation.

Across from Pope and Kie, JJ sat, head in his hands, trying to block out the sounds of everyone around him. Shoupe’s words on repeat in his head “We lost them… we lost them”. Elle sat to his right, staring blankly at the ground. Unlike JJ, her head was empty, and not the peaceful kind of empty, the kind that would slowly drive you insane. This kind of silence between the pogues was rare, each too consumed in their thoughts, or lack thereof to attempt any kind of conversation.

Elle felt JJ shift beside her, finally lifting his head from his hands. She turned to watch him, cautious of an emotional outburst. His eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks wet with the constant stream of tears that had been trailing down his face. Wiping his face clear, he stood up abruptly, gaining the attention of Pope, Kie and her parents. 

“Can we leave this fucking tent yet?!” he questioned, looking towards the SBI agents guarding the entrances. As if on cue, Shoupe and Heyward entered, pulling their soaking hoods down from their heads. 

“Not yet son, we need to get statements from each of you and do some questioning” Shoupe responded, hands on his hips as if to maintain his authority, but his face held a solemn look. Elle couldn't tell if it was due to the guilt or the pity. 

“Questioning?! You’re going to question us about how you and your minions drove our friends right into a raging storm?!” JJ challenged, taking his signature red hat off and running a hand through his tousled hair out of frustration.

“Look, I know you’re all hurting right now”, JJ scoffed, Kie finally lifting her head from its place on Pope’s shoulder, “but this is still a criminal investigation, and you’re all accomplices as far as we’re concerned”.

“That’s absolute bullshit Shoupe, he wasn’t a criminal and you know it!” Pope exclaimed, surprising everyone in the room.

Heyward stepped forward, as if to take control of the situation, “Come on man, look at these kids. Do they look like they’re in any way to be interrogated right now?”

Holding eye contact with him, Shoupe sighed, lifting his eyes to glance around the room from one pogue to the next. “Alright, go home and get some rest. But we’re going to have to bring each of you in tomorrow”, pointedly looking at JJ he added “and we want to know the truth about everything”.

Rolling his eyes JJ looked across to Pope and Kie, who both shared the same looks of worry on their faces. Talking to the police about everything that’s happened over the past few weeks was the last thing any one of them wanted to do.

Everyone started to disperse from the scene. Kie hugging them all before leaving with her parents, her Mum’s arm holding her close as they walked to their car. The Heywards followed their lead, bidding goodbye to Elle and JJ before heading home. JJ turned to look at Elle after watching their friends leave, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread just thinking about returning back to his house.

Elle, like always, picked up on the fear radiating off of him, grabbing his right hand in her left and squeezing it gently. She knew there was no possible act of affection that could slow the thoughts racing through his mind right now. “Hey, come and stay with me tonight”, she offered softly. The very idea of returning to her house alone tonight caused feelings of anxiety to arise, at least if she had JJ there, her house wouldn’t feel so empty.

It didn’t take much to convince JJ. Going back to a mansion in Figure Eight with his best friend seemed a hell of a lot safer than returning to his beat up shack with his father, who no doubt was already passed out on the couch. JJ’s eyes moved from their place on their interconnected hands up to meet Elle’s eyes. They held a pleading look, silently begging him to let his walls down and accept the offer that on any other occasion he would refuse. 

“Uhh, yeah.. Okay”, he nodded softly. 

“Alright then”, Elle turned back to the seat that she had occupied, picking up her keys and beginning to drag him along with her, “let’s get the hell out of here”.

\----

The car ride was silent. The only sounds coming from the engine of Elle’s jeep as they drove through the Cut, the water pelting down onto the exterior of the car. JJ sat next to her, his gaze never wavering from the window to his right. The torrential downpour had soaked through their clothes, leaving Elle shivering slightly as she gripped the wheel. She’d always loved driving, especially around the Cut. The scenery was similar to that on her side of the island, but the feelings that it evoked were the opposite. The Cut felt more like home than Figure Eight ever would, but there was a nagging thought that that feeling was due to the boy sitting next to her, and not the Cut itself.

Passing over the bridge into Figure Eight, it was only a matter of minutes before they had arrived at the Sterling residence. The grand house stood on a large block of bright green land, surrounded by a carefully maintained flowerbed, displaying the hard work of the Sterling’s gardeners. The outdoor automatic lights switched on as Elle and JJ made their way to her front door. JJ had only been inside Elle’s house a handful of times, despite their 4 year friendship, but he still doesn’t think there'd be a time where he wouldn’t be astounded by the sheer size of it and the never ending staircase that greeted you as you entered the front door.

“Are you hungry? I can grab us some food before we head up to my room” Elle proposed, pointing towards the kitchen.

JJ denied the offer, in spite of the slight grumble that came from his stomach. He was worried that anything he tried to get down might not stay there.

Elle nodded, leading them up the stairs to the second floor which held her and her brothers bedrooms, as well as another living area. JJ felt out of place in his wet, muddy clothes and bruised skin, a strong contrast to the white walls and clean carpet. 

Entering her room, JJ stood awkwardly, noting her large queen sized bed with a quilt cover that matched her blue and white colour scheme, and the walk-in wardrobe to the left of it. He wondered why she’d needed such a closet when her wardrobe consisted of tank tops and shorts throughout the summer. 

“Did you.. uh.. wanna take a shower? There’s towels in the cupboard under the sink and shampoo and conditioner inside the shower if you need it” she asked whilst rummaging through some drawers in her closet. She pulled out a pair of soft black shorts and a tee that she had borrowed from JJ when staying over at the Chateau a few weeks ago, holding them out to JJ shyly, “these are yours, freshly washed. Think they might be a bit more comfortable than what you’ve got on”. 

JJ had to glance down to remind himself of what he’d been wearing. She was right, the combat boots adorning his feet were sturdy and heavy, his shorts stiff from a mixture of dried rain and mud, whilst his button down clung to his body, entirely saturated. Glancing back at Elle he accepted the clothes, offering what he could muster up of a smile. 

“Yeah..thanks”, making his way toward the on suite bathroom that was to the right of her bed. 

Elle busied herself by searching through her drawers for clothes to change into, when she heard JJ began to speak.

“Um, Elle, would you mind uh”, she turned, watching him stutter over his sentence.

“Yeah?” she encouraged softly, curious as to what he was getting at.

“I… uhm, well, I don’t really wanna be alone right now”, he confessed, mumbling the last part whilst avoiding eye contact by focusing on how his boots were dirtying her floor.

Taken aback by his admission of vulnerability, Elle’s brows furrowed slightly, somewhat confused of what he was asking.

With caution, she pressed “Do you want me to come into the bathroom with you?”.

“Well like, yeah… if you don’t mind”, finally lifting his gaze to meet her eyes. Compared to the pleading look they held back at the tent, they were curious and inviting. JJ would never understand how her eyes were able to show every emotion she was feeling. 

Giving him a reassuring head nod and a comforting smile she responded, “Of course I don’t mind”. 

Turning back to her drawers, she grabbed out a pair of pyjama shorts and a run-down oversized t-shirt she had bought from the country club’s charity fundraiser a few years back. Opening up her underwear drawer, she spotted her pale blue bikini. Grabbing it out, along with a pair of clean underwear, she walked over to where JJ was leaning against the bathroom door, watching her. 

Contrary to Elle’s usual confidence that she displayed, nervously, she held up her bikini whilst proposing her idea “I know you don't want to be alone right now, and to be honest neither do I. Would you mind if I hopped in the shower with you?” 

His blue eyes widened slightly, with both surprise and affection. Under any other circumstance he would make an inappropriate or flirtatious comment, when faced with this kind of situation. God, he really wished they were under any other circumstance right now. 

Despite the heavy feeling in his heart, he cracked a small smile and joked “As long as you wash my hair”.

Elle giggled, a sound that he hadn’t heard in a few days. Since the gold game had taken a turn for the worse. He’d missed it.

Following her into the bathroom, he stripped down to his boxers, whilst waiting for the water to warm up. Once he’d stepped in, he relinquished in the feeling of the hot water running down over his head and down his body. 

Elle, now in her bikini, his favourite bikini to be precise, stepped in after him, sighing at the feeling of the hot water slightly scalding her body, after being uncomfortably damp for so long. 

Observing her movements, JJ watched as she picked up a body sponge and pumped some body wash onto it. Turning back to him she motioned for him to turn so that his back was facing her. Beginning at his shoulders, Elle moved the sponge in circular motions, the grime starting to lift off of his tanned skin. She worked quietly, focusing on the task at hand, distracting herself from the thoughts of the past few hours that threatened to enter. JJ remained silent while Elle worked, attempting to relax under the water and her gentle touch.

Once she had completed his back, she applied some pressure to his right arm, turning him to face her. They met eyes, a mutual feeling of vulnerability connecting them. Moving her eyes away from his face, as to contain some kind of break down, she began the circular motion from his shoulders and collar bones, down to his torso. Elle sucked in a breath after being faced with the dark purple bruises that covered his toned body. She doesn’t think she will ever be able to remove the images of these bruises from her brain. Anger surged through her temporarily at the acts of violence that had led to such bruises to arise. Elle crouched down slightly, now eye to eye with the marks and using a gentler motion than before, cleaned over them, wary of applying too much pressure and causing him even more pain than he’s already in. She let the water wash off the soap from the injuries, softly pressing her lips to the area, kissing lightly, before moving onto the next mark.

JJ sucked in a breath at the act of affection, watching her press the kisses to his skin. No one had ever treated him with such care, as if he were porcelain and pressing too hard may just shatter him. His heart swelled with a feeling he couldn’t describe, tears prickling at his eyes. His breathing began to shallow, willing himself not to break down completely. 

By the time Elle had returned to a standing position, JJ had tears streaming down his face. With the same gentle touch as before, she wiped under his eyes, ridding them of what she thought were tears, it was hard to tell amongst the water of the showerhead. She searched his face, trying to decipher his emotions. Did she hurt him? Had she gone too far? Had she crossed an unspoken boundary that wasn’t supposed to be crossed? JJ cut off her overthinking when he pulled her into his body, holding onto her for dear life. Elle tightened her arms around him, his body shaking while he sobbed into her neck, the warm water running over them, blocking out the sounds of his whimpers.  
With more emotion than she’d ever heard in his voice, he finally spoke “He’s gone Elle. He’s just gone.” Between sobs, and spluttering he continued, “What am I supposed to do now? He’s gone. He was all I had”. 

Elle joined him then. She tightened her hold on him even more, as the tears beginning to fill her eyes, turned into streams of tears, and then into a full-blown breakdown. They stood there, under the water, holding onto each other desperately, crying. Crying for everything that they’d been through. For everything that they’d lost. For John B.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of comforting JJ, Elle wakes to him gone with no explanation. The Pogues meetup to discuss what they’re going to say in their police interrogations. Elle hatches a plan to get them out of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Pogues don’t know that Rafe killed the Sheriff in this fic. Also does anyone know if the Pogues actually found out about Rafe killing her?? I don't remember seeing John B or Sarah tell them - only Topper. Anywhoo, this picks up directly after Chapter 1.

A dull, insistent buzzing woke Elle, rolling onto her side to grab her phone from her bedside table. Incoming call: Kie kie.

Still half asleep, Elle answered groggily, her head still resting on her pillow “Hello?”.

“Hey babe...uh.. how are you?”, Kie asked cautiously.

Elle sighed, the reality of their situation slapping in her in the face. The storm. John B. Sarah. JJ. Looking to her left, her bed was empty, the blonde haired boy missing.

“Alright as I can be I guess. How are you, did you manage to get any sleep?” Elle questioned, knowing that Kiara’s brain constantly working in overdrive wouldn’t have allowed her the rest she needed. The rest they all needed.

“Uhm, I got a few hours in. Oh, do you know where JJ is? Pope messaged me saying we should meet at the chateau before the questioning to sort out our stories, but he couldn’t grab a hold of JJ”. Elle sat up her, her head feeling as though it was throbbing. She looked around her room, searching for any sign that JJ was still around. Whether it was from the two hours sleep she’d gotten after she’d spent the night holding JJ, whispering words of affirmation whilst he attempted to calm down, or from the idea of having to face the police after the major shit show that had occurred over the past few days.

“Yeah J spent the night with me, but”, moving from her bed and down the stairs, she checked each room she passed to see whether he had snuck off during the night or had woken up and left her so not to disturb her, “It looks like he’s gone”. Now in the kitchen there was no sign of JJ. No plates or pans left over from a possible breakfast, no sound coming from the TV, Elle thinks if he was still here the TV would definitely be on. JJ had always preferred some kind of sound on to distract him when he’d been feeling any other than his usual self.

“Oh ok.” Kie paused, racking her brain to come up with their next steps. “I’ll check by all our usual places and meet at the Chateau in 20?”.

“Yeah, sounds good. See you then”, Elle didn’t waste any time, heading back to her room to get ready for the, probably disastrous, day ahead of her. 

\------

The drive to the Chateau felt excruciatingly long. Jumbled thoughts ran round and round in Elle’s head, trying to conjure up a plan that would decriminalise John B and get Ward the retribution he needed. 

Pulling in, a wave of emotion rushed over her. Her heart sinking into her stomach, their place of sanctuary, that held every memory that the Pogues had together, was now empty of life and cold.

Pope enveloped Elle in a tight hug as soon as he saw her in the doorway. Placing his face in her shoulder and squeezing slightly before letting go. 

Wordlessly, they moved over to the couch on the porch, taking a seat. Elle broke the silence first “Is Kie here yet?”.

A flicker of pain crossed Pope’s features, looking towards the water, “Nah, she’s still looking for JJ”. Silence followed, guilt crawling its way into Elle’s thoughts. She had one job. To make sure JJ was okay. And she couldn’t even do that. “Right...” she answered, looking out to the water, bringing her bottom lip into her mouth out of habit.

“Where would he even take off too? I thought he stayed with you last night?” he questioned. Elle studied his face, trying to decipher if he was mad. But there was no accusation or underlying frustration in his tone. 

Elle nodded, “He came back to mine after the, uh.. the storm. Woke up to Kie’s phone call and he was gone”. Pope picked up on the sadness that was laced in her answer, wondering if there was more to the story than she led on.

As if on cue, Kie’s four wheel drive turned into the driveway. Elle’s eyes not leaving the car, waiting to see if she had found him. 

Begrudgingly, JJ exited the passenger side. Wearing a clean white t-shirt that clung to his toned body, his usual style of shorts and boots adorning the lower half of his body, his trusty red hat pulling his hair out of his face. He must’ve gone home and changed. Elle felt herself release a breath of relief at the sight of him, simultaneously cringing at the thought of him leaving her this morning to return to that house, instinctively searching his body for any visible signs of new marks or bruises.

Stepping up onto the porch, Kie and Elle embraced in a hug, a rare moment of affection between the girls. Usually they showed their love for eachother through words and actions, but at this moment Elle didn’t know if there were any words left.

JJ walked straight past the pair, nodding at Pope in acknowledgement and plopping himself down in the chair to the left of the couch. Taking a puff from his jule and blowing out while keeping his eyes on the backyard.

Kie took Elle’s seat next to Pope, Elle choosing to stand against the railing of the fence. Glancing at JJ, she studied him, waiting for him to turn and acknowledge her. She felt a strong pang of hurt when he made an obvious effort to keep his eyes on anything but her, his jaw clenching and releasing a breath of smoke.

The tension went unnoticed by the others as Pope spoke up “We need to get our story straight before we get dragged into questioning. They’re gonna want to know everything, and I don’t know about you guys, but I really don’t want to go to jail for being an accessory to crimes, for stealing, for trespassing or for any other illegal shit we did. I can’t.”

“Why can’t you, it’s not like you’re getting that stupid scholarship anyway”, JJ responded. An air of arrogance and disregard around him. 

Pope scoffed in disbelief, “Yo that scholarship was the only thing that was going to get me out of this fucking place! And I lost it, for the gold that we didn’t even get. I didn’t lose that scholarship for me, I lost that scholarship for us!” 

“Pope” Kie tried to mediate.

“No, Kie. Just because I lost the scholarship doesn’t mean I’m happy to spend the rest of my life rotting away in a cell.” Pope responded, looking between his friends.

Silence filled the group.

“You’re right Pope.” Elle interjected. 

Pope abruptly turned his head to her. “What?” 

“You’re right. You have so much potential. You actually can get out of this place. You’ve got too much to lose. You shouldn’t have to take the blame for this.” 

Pope and Kie shared a look of confusion, JJ still maintaining his avoidance of his friends looks.

Kie, tied her hair up, the North Carolina heat getting to her “What do you propose then E?”

Elle looked at each of her friends, organising her thoughts. Did she want to go through with this? Was this going to come back to bite her in the ass? Definitely. Was she willing to go through with this to save the only friends she had left? Of course. “I’ll take the blame”.

“What, are you serious?”

“No, you’re not doing that!”

JJ was the only one not to speak out. His gaze finally shifting from the horizon to look at her. She searched his face. For anything. Any kind of emotion, but found nothing.  
“I’ll take all the blame. Look, if we admitted that we all had a part in this, then we’ll get in the shit. It’ll be put on record, and even though we’re minors, this county isn’t going to just forget it. We’ll probably get tried as adults, where they can really charge us for the things we’ve done”.

“E, stop.”

“No Kie, listen”

“If Pope admits to it, his future is gone. It’s hard enough to get into a college when you’re from the Cut, not to mention a criminal from the Cut.” Pope nodded, agreeing with her points, but his face held a look of slight concern.

“Same with JJ. And after already being arrested so recently, he’s sure to get thrown straight into juvie. And if not, he has to return home.” Elle’s tone showed that returning home might be just as bad as juvie, if not worse.

JJ rose from his seat, pointing a finger at her, “Don’t Elle. Don’t bring my Dad into this” maintaining eye contact. “We got ourselves into this shit, for someone who’s dead, why should we pay for it at all? They killed him and Sarah. Not us. I say we don’t speak at all. Pull that ‘5th amendment or I’m waiting for my lawyer shit’ that they do in movies”.

Everyone felt the blow of him speaking about John B and Sarah like that. But Elle considered his idea. It wasn’t horrible. If none of them spoke, what would they do? What could they do? But surely, knowing Shoupe and the way they relentlessly chased John B down, there was no way they were gonna let Peterkin’s murder fly under the radar. 

“That’s not going to work JJ. They’re going to keep pressing and pressing until one of us cracks. Why not beat them to it?” Elle responded.

“Wait, why can’t we just blame John B and Sarah?” JJ asked, oblivious to how inconsiderate a question like that was right now.

Kie shot back immediately, “For killing the Sheriff? Because they didn’t do it you asshole!”.

JJ rolled his eyes, his ignorance clear in his words, “No not for that, just for everything else, they’re already dead, what’s the har-” he asked with a shrug. It wasn’t what he was suggesting, it was how he was talking about them. 

Kie cut him off “Stop saying that they’re dead, you don’t know that JJ!”

JJ shook his head in disbelief, “I do know it. And so do all of you. You’re kidding yourselves if you think they could’ve survived that fucking storm. Don’t be so gullible, they’re never coming back!”.

Raising his voice, Pope shouted, “Enough!” cutting off the conversation.

A deeper sombre mood fell over the group. No one knowing what to say or what to address. The conversation had led to the truth that none of them wanted to acknowledge.

Ignoring the outburst, Elle continued, “Kie, if you admit it, you’re going to be in deep shit too. Except you have Kook privilege and will still probably be able to get into college, or go overseas to build homes and schools in third world countries. And that’s the same for me. My Dad’s probably already hired some fancy hot-shot lawyer and hopefully we’ll get off with a slap on the wrist. As long as they know we had nothing to do with Peterkin, and we tell the truth about Ward, we’ll be fine”.

“Yeah, sure, we’ll be fine” JJ sarcastically laughed, sitting back down on the chair. But instead he kept his eyes on Elle, making her shift with nerves.

Focusing on Pope and Kie, Elle quirked an eyebrow, silently questioning if they agreed with her idea. Looking at each other, a silent conversation was had. 

“Ok, I’m in. But my parents are going to ground me for life when they have to pick me up from juvie”, Kie stood, walking up to the railing beside her and taking a deep breath. 

Elle turned to the boys, waiting for their disapproval. JJ took another puff of his jule, blowing the smoke out and avoiding the group. Pope sighed, knowing that this was the best option they had right now. “Alright, talk us through the plan then, Mrs 007”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fight/angst scene between JJ and Elle coming in the next few chapters. 
> 
> feedback/comments/kudos really appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their police interrogations, the Pogues are invited to a funeral for John B and Sarah, but instead of finding closure, they find anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Everyone's kind of a hot mess right now, They’re all slowly trying to process their grief in their own time and because they’re such different characters, I want to really give them the time to do it in a way that feels natural?   
> This chapter isn’t the best and was a bit of a filler to ensure that the storyline makes sense - the Pogues don’t know that Rafe killed the Sheriff, hence Elle’s empathy to him.

“Alright, thanks for your statement, we’re gonna need a few days to assess whether charges will be made and we’ll let you know. But if I were you, I’d be expecting to be back here fairly shortly” Shoupe hinted, leading Elle down the hallway to the front of the station. 

Elle turned to him, a sarcastic smile filling her face “Can’t wait”. Shoupe began to walk away, before she caught his attention again, “Hey Shoupe, just make sure Ward gets what’s coming to him. Sarah would be ashamed if she knew he got away with it” she stated, a coldness to her tone, before slamming the door shut.

She’d left her lawyer inside to fill out the rest of the legal papers that made no sense to her, grateful to finally be alone after spending three hours being pressed for answers she didn’t have. Her Dad really didn’t let her down this time, hiring one of the best lawyers in the North Carolina distract, a lady maybe mid-30s who was promised a big payout by my father if she was able to make some kind of settlement that would get the Pogues off the hook.

Crossing the road, Elle got into her car, wasting no time before heading to the Chateau to meet the others.

\-----

“How’d it go?!” Pope yelled from the porch as he watched Elle make her way out of the car. He’d been on the edge of his seat ever since he got back from his time at the station. Kiara had to calm him down by subtly bringing up something about autopsy school which launched him into an animated discussion about a new discovery he’d read about. Kie figured that he’d increased his trips to the library in hopes of keeping his mind occupied, and to probably find out what happens to one’s body when they drown.

“It was fine. Shoupe was super suspicious about Kie and I being able to pull off stunts like that without your or JJ’s help but I pulled the sexism card and he quickly shut up. Plus I think our Pogue reputation may have helped a little”, Elle disclosed as she made her way past Kie and Pope to the fridge to grab a beer. Cracking it open she took a large swig, feeling the cool liquid run down her throat. 

Sighing, she looked around at the shack, searching for any signs of JJ. As if on cue he entered the kitchen, leaning against the doorway. She ignored the fastening of her heartbeat at the sight of him. Cocking his head to the side he asked “So are they gonna arrest Ward?”. Elle noticed the harsh tone of his voice, something she was getting far too used to.

Looking at her converse to get a break from his intense gaze, she muttered “Not yet, they.. uh.. need to assess whether to charge Kie and I first, and then they’re going to look into it.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, sure they are”, before turning around and heading back onto the porch.

Pope, Kie and Elle remained in the kitchen, absentmindedly chatting about shifts at the Wreck and Heyward’s, and returning to school, in hopes of gaining some concept of normalcy. 

JJ’s voice snapped them out of their pleasantries, the sounds of rustling and groaning coming from outside. Hurrying out they saw JJ, on top of Rafe in the driveway, both hands clenching his shirt in his hands, both of their faces red with anger. “What made you think you could come around here?” JJ spat, shoving the back of Rafe’s head into the gravel.

“Dude...ugh get off, fucking relax” Rafe huffed, trying to maneouver his body to find a way to push JJ off of him.

Darting down to the driveway, Pope and Kie managed to pull JJ off him, Elle standing between the two as they got back up on their feet. She watched Rafe with cautious eyes, watching him brush off the gravel from his clothes and running his hand through his hair, meeting his gaze “What are you doing here Rafe?”.

“Look, I know I’m probably the last guy you wanna see right now, but I uh, came down to let you know that we’re going to hold a ceremony for her. For Sarah, and uh, kinda John B, I guess. For the accident.” he spoke, an unexpected softness in his tone. 

Pope and Kie exchanged looks, JJ stilling in Pope’s hold. Kie shook her head with disbelief, trying to wrap her mind around what Rafe was telling them,“A funeral? They haven’t even been dead 2 days yet, and you wanna throw a funeral? Are you serious?” she exclaimed. 

Elle kept her gaze on Rafe, attempting to decipher how he was coping with all this. Hesitantly he added, “It was Dad’s idea. He wanted to make sure she got the send off she deserves.”

“The send off she deserves?! She shouldn’t be having a funeral at all! It was  _ your _ Dad that pushed them into that storm!” Pope spoke, his frustration coming out in the coarseness of his voice.

Rafe averted his gaze down to his feet, kicking at the gravel. Elle pretended not to notice the tears that formed in his eyes and the shaky breath he let out. Jumping in before he had the chance to respond, “Where will it be?”. 

Rafe looked up, noticing the softness in her voice. “It’ll be at the white church in Figure Eight on Tuesday at midday, and then a wake at our house”.

Elle nodded, turning around to face the others. They all looked between each other, a silent conversation taking place. Pope, Kie and Elle picked up the resistance from JJ, sending him pleading looks. They needed this, Sarah had become just as much a member of their pack as each of them. 

Pope, stepping away from beside JJ, came to stand next to Elle. His attitude muted after the emotional turmoil that had washed over the group, “Is this really for John B too?”

Rafe nodded solemnly, “Yeah, it’s for the both of them.”

“Alright, we’ll be there”, Pope responded, “you can leave now”, his firmness coming back into his tone.

Rafe gave a slight nod of his head, walking past the group up the driveway to his Jeep.

“Jesus Christ…” JJ breathed out.

The group returned to the silence that had become all too common for them, retreating back into the Chateau.

\-----

Tuesday rolled around, the group deciding to get ready individually and driving in together. As Elle finished off the touches to her light makeup, she tied her hair into a low pony, checking over her appearance. The mid-length navy blue dress she wore was far too flowy for a funeral, but she’d never had to have a funeral dress before. 

Kie beeped from out the front. Grabbing her phone and purse, which mainly held tissues, she headed down. “Hey” she offered softly, hopping into the car. Pope, next to Kie in the front turned, giving her a slight smile, “Hey, you alright?”

“I think I will be. You guys?” 

“I just want to get this done with” Kie sighed sadly, backing out of the Sterling residence. 

JJ remained quiet next to Elle, fumbling with his lighter in his lap. She gazed over his outfit, opting for his navy shorts, a black button down, and no hat. Elle couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him this dressed up, well, dressed up in JJ terms.

The ride was silent except for Bob Marley playing quietly through the car's speakers. Arriving at the church, Elle exited the car, staring up at it she was struck with a strong sense of realisation. Their lives the past few weeks had led to this. And it was their fault.

Elle didn’t know that the rest of the Pogues' minds arrived at the same conclusion.They had done this. They could’ve prevented this if they’d just gone to the cops and told them everything they knew about Ward and the gold. But it was too late.

Kie reached for Elle’s hand, giving her a slight tug to make their way in, JJ and Pope trudging along behind them, taking in the scene in front of them.

The inside of the church was beautiful. Although there were only about 10 rows of seatings, the ceilings were high, the walls covered in colourful glass windows, everything in pristine condition. It was crawling with people, extended family, Kooks and people from the Academy that Elle could recognise from her brief time there. At the front sat a table holding two photo frames, one holding a beautiful image of Sarah smiling directly at the camera that must’ve been from some fancy Kook event last year, due to the light blue gown she wore. And next to her, in a noticeably smaller frame, a photo of John B that Kie had taken one day after a surfing session, holding his surfboard, his hair still wet and droplets covering his skin. Where’d they even get that photo? And then piles and piles of colourful flowers, all different bouquets, resting in front of the frames. Elle swallowed down the bile that raised in her throat, averting her eyes from the gut-wrenching reality that they were gone.

Choosing one of the smaller, back rows, they sat and watched as everyone around them fussed over Sarah, not once hearing the tiniest mutter of John B’s name. Elle could feel the anxiety radiating off from JJ from her right, his leg bouncing rapidly against hers. As everyone began to be seated and the celebrant took to the stage, she placed her hand on his thigh in an attempt to calm his nerves. Flinching slightly from the contact, but then allowing her act of affection to settle him. As the woman launched into a symbolic story of love and loss, Elle pretended she didn’t notice Pope’s arm slip around Kie’s waist, her body melting into his subtlety, a reminder that they all had each other right now.

Scanning the crowd, Elle caught eyes with Topper clearly not engaged in the conversation that Rafe and Kelce were having beside him. Elle couldn’t help but feel a small ball of sympathy gather in her stomach at the sadness that swum in his eyes. Looking away, she squeezed JJ’s thigh slightly, whether it was a reminder that she was still there for him, or a reminder of who she should actually feel sympathy for, she wasn’t sure.

Elle couldn’t help but notice how little the ceremony was about John B, and how many times Sarah’s name slipped out of the woman's mouth, her insides burning at the idea of his memory being forgotten. She tried her hardest throughout it to hold back her tears, biting her tongue to suppress the urge to sob at the stories that were being shared of Sarah, and the lack of ones about John B. She wasn’t good at holding in her emotions in such circumstances, but something about this situation told her that  _ this  _ was not the place to express them.

Sweet relief was granted when the ceremony finished, the Pogues quickly filing out of the church and back into Kie’s car.

As Kie began driving out, she scoffed. “That was a joke. Are they kidding me? A ceremony for Sarah  _ and _ John B  _ my ass! _ ” 

Pope reached out his hand, hesitantly placing it on her thigh as she continued. “They were clearly using John B to make themselves look better.  _ Oh look at us, look how caring we are,  _ it’s bullshit! And now we have to go to this stupid wake, to hear them talk about the stupid storm, and probably how stupid John B is for dragging Sarah along with him. Why, huh? Why should we?”

The group becoming accustomed to her outbursts remained quiet. 

“Alright then, let’s ditch. Where should we go?”JJ spoke. Elle noted how subdued his usually boisterous voice was. 

And that’s how they ended up at The Wreck, a few Touron’s enjoying the last moments of their Summer holiday. For this time of the afternoon, it was oddly quiet. The Pogues sat at the table, absentmindedly picking at the food Kie’s Dad had offered them when he saw their defeated faces walk through the door. 

A soft melody filled the room, before changing to a more upbeat song. Elle recognised the tune, trying to place her finger on where she’d heard it before. Turning to Kie she’d realised. It was from the night that they’d filed into the Wreck after stealing the drones, absolutely starving. And John B and Kie had danced. She watched as a tear ran down Kie’s cheek, pulling her into her shoulder as she began to sob. Elle had been waiting for  _ this _ , for her breakdown to happen. Knowing Kie as well as she did, she knew she could only keep a front up for so long before cracking. And it had, the wall had cracked, and what had begun as a small stream of water that flowed through turned into a flood.

Pope watched on, his heart aching to comfort the girl he loves. Unlike Pope, JJ couldn’t bear to watch it, afraid of it triggering his own reaction, moving his chair out from under the table and swiftly making his way out of the restaurant without bidding goodbye to any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t expect to write Kie as so vocal and angry after losing JB + Sarah but it feels right so she’s kinda losing her shit.   
> Excuse JJ, lil baby doesn’t know how to process his emotions :(
> 
> Angst coming in the next chapter finally!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you’ve already lost everything, what’s a little more? Elle confronts JJ about the way he’s been treating her and their relationship falls to pieces amongst the emotional turmoil of losing John B and Sarah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: angst, mild swearing, using the lord’s name in vain, heart break :(
> 
> A/N: this hurt to write :( clearly they’re both a mess right now and don’t know what they’re doing

It had been 3 days since the funeral, 6 days since their police interrogations, and 7 days since the storm. And apart from the shower she had shared with JJ, Elle hadn’t cried yet, hadn’t let it sink in that this was their new reality. That it was normal for her to not hear from JJ for 3 days and that it was normal for Kie and Pope to spend all their free time together without the other Pogues. That her found family had now joined her biological family as a distant memory. That she was on her own. 

She had decided that 3 days had been enough time. Enough time for JJ to collect his emotions and have the space he needed. As she pulled into his driveway, her hands shaky and head full of things she needed to say to him, she recollected her breath before opening the door and making her way over to where he stood, working on his bike.

“Hi Jay” Elle greeted softly, wary of what side of him she was going to receive. 

JJ lifted his head from his crouched position, giving a slight nod of acknowledgement whilst continuing to work on his bike. It seemed like Elle was getting the distant and quiet side today. This side of him always left Elle feeling on edge, like at any moment he might explode in an outburst of anger, or just completely break down. 

“Nobody’s seen you for days”, she added, keeping a gentle tone in her voice. Wanting him to pick up on her care, not concern. He didn’t respond well to people worrying about him, after the years they’ve spent as friends, she knew how easy it was for JJ to close himself off. 

Keeping his eyes on the movement of his screwdriver, mumbling out a short and sharp “Yeah, it’s better that way”. 

“Well, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you” Elle sighed, already dreading how this conversation was going to end.

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself” he snapped, lifting his head briefly to shoot her an icy gaze before returning his gaze to the task at hand.

She tried to ignore the hurt that began to form in the pit of her stomach. Meeting his sharp tone with her own she quickly rebutted. 

“I’ve never thought that JJ”.

He ignored her. Somewhere along the line, the patience she had for him had dissipated, leaving a burning feeling in her chest. 

“You can stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not Jay”. 

He remained silent, Elle’s frustration building. “Just talk to me” she sighed, making her way around the bike. Not standing close enough to scare him off, but close enough to gain his attention.

He finally stood, his stature causing him to look down at her slightly. She held his eye contact, trying to find some kind of emotion in them. She tried reaching her hand up to his face, as if to gently touch his cheek. His bruises were finally starting to fade, the cut on his lip healing. 

“You know, if I could, I would change the whole world for you. In a heartbeat.” An unrecognisable emotion flashed across his eyes before disappearing. Flinching away and crouching back down to work on his bike, sourness slipped through in his voice. 

“Yeah, well you can’t. And I don’t need my world to change, I need everyone to just leave me alone”. She had lost him, the softness she was beginning to see had left.

“Okay well if you needed space all you had to do was ask”, she shot back. She couldn’t understand why he was acting so cold. Had she done something? Or was he just taking his anger out on her? She knew he’d needed space, hence the 3 days without any contact. But JJ wasn’t usually one to ruminate with his feelings, or if he was, he didn’t show it. He always felt his emotions intensely, he’s quick tempered and impulsive, but Elle had always wondered if that was just his surface level reaction. She sometimes feared that underneath his hard and brave exterior, that he was too fragile for the world that he’d been given.

“God, it’s not space that I need Elle. I’ve had plenty of space”, he replied, making his annoyance apparent.

Elle shook her head, still not understanding what he was getting at. “So what do you need, because you’re making it pretty hard for me to figure it out Jay.”

Standing up he turned to her, his features showing his irritation with her. “What I need is for you to leave me alone. I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone!”. 

She took a step back, as if his words had delivered a physical blow to her body. Shaking her head slightly, her arms coming up to cross over her chest she scoffed, “You might not need me JJ, but have you ever thought that maybe I need you?”. 

He scanned her face, looking for the truth behind her words. “Find someone else then Elle. I can’t be that person for you anymore.” 

The dread in her stomach grew with every blow that was delivered in his words. 

Exasperated, she uncrossed her arms, using them while she spoke, “What are you even talking about?! You’re my best friend, what do you want me to do, go and pick someone off the street. How are you not understanding that right now, you’re the only person I care about?”. She could feel herself derailing, trying to make sense of it. 

JJ scoffed, looking at her confusedly, “What about Pope and Kie huh, what, you don’t care about them?”

“You know that that’s not what I meant JJ. Plus, they’ve been hanging out with each other all week, I’m sure they’re doing just fine” sarcasm coating her words heavily.

“Well maybe you should be checking in on them instead of bothering me”, he near shouted. 

Elle couldn’t help the tone of betrayal that slipped through in her tone. She narrowed her eyes, “Bothering you? I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that my visit was such a burden on you”.

He lifted his hat off his head, running a hand through his hair before placing it back on. Coldly he responded, “Yeah well, it is”.

Elle’s head felt as if it was spinning. Replies and comebacks and the fear of where this conversation could end filtering through her mind at record speed. 

“And who’s gonna be there for me, huh JJ? Kie and Pope have each other, you, well apparently you’re good on your own. Who do I get? You know I’m going through this as well?” she responded. She’d felt lost this past week without John B around, and having no one to speak to only amplified how alone she now was. 

“I don’t know Elle, why don’t you go find a Kook, that’s always worked out so well for you in the past” JJ snapped, his voice antagonising her. 

Elle’s stomach dropped. Tears that she had been fighting back throughout this argument beginning to slip through. For JJ to throw her past in her face like that made her blood boil, what felt like bile was rising in her throat.

She wouldn’t be able to stand this argument any longer. Her heart rate accelerated, it felt as if her fight or flight responses had been activated, and her brain was screaming at her to run as fast and as far away from the pain that JJ was inflicting on her right now. But her heart wondered how much further she could push him, to find out what his limits really were.

Elle swallowed, trying to gain her voice again, she felt defeated. “Right, then I’ll leave you to it.”

“Finally” JJ sighed with relief. Usually JJ being relaxed gave Elle a sense of peace, but his gratitude for her leaving him made her want to collapse onto the floor and crumble. 

Elle began making her way up the driveway, her mind spinning with things that she could say to try and salvage what they had left. 

Turning around her hopelessness and exhaustion was displayed through her body language, her arms falling limply by her side. “So what? That’s it. Four years of friendship down the drain because you’re scared of letting people in? This is your way of trying to protect yourself? Cut people out of your life before they leave you? That’s bullshit JJ! You and I both know that I am the last person that would ever leave you.”

JJ’s throat worked. Her words cut deeper than they had before. Is this what he’d driven them too? 

He shrugged, gnawing on his bottom lip, his eyes glazed over “I’ve already lost everything, what’s a little more”. His voice showed his carelessness, but his face betrayed him exhibiting the panic that was behind his actions.

Elle let out a shaky breath. Unbelieving of what his words meant. Two of her biggest fears coming to life right in front of her- of caring too much for someone who would never care about her, and losing JJ for good. She’d truly hit the jackpot. She sniffled, her emotions beginning to take over her, shaking her head softly. 

Quiet enough not let him hear she mumbled, “I hate how much I love you”. 

JJ’s head snapped up, his eyebrows furrowing at her words. Of course he’d known she loved him, she told him all the time. When they were out on the boat and the sun was gleaming and everyone was laughing at Pope’s lame Dad jokes, she’d blurt out how much she loved them all. At their keggers, tipsy, dancing along with tourons, wrapping her arms around whoever was closest, pulling them all into a group hug and confessing her undying love for them. When she’d cleaned up his bruises and cuts after another run-in with his father, the first one slipping out when she knew JJ needed to hear it, and then every time after that to reassure him that he always had her. Elle wasn’t afraid to let people know that she loved them. She had said it to him a countless number of times. But she’d never said it with a sense of hopelessness behind it. As if loving him physically hurt her. JJ always thought that when people complained of their heart aching that they were being overdramatic. But he felt as if his heart was throbbing, it truly ached, in a way he didn’t think was possible. So he did what he does best, he made it ache even more.

“Then stop loving me.”

Turning around, he retreated back to his bike, grinding his teeth whilst picking up his wench and pretending to work on the nuts and bolts underneath the seat. He couldn’t watch her walk away, he knew that whatever remained of his heart wouldn’t be able to take it and he’d be reminded of how he’s royally screwed up the one thing in his life that he actually had left. 

He silently begged for her to leave, so that he could relinquish in the feeling of his heart shattering, and scattering throughout his body in fragile pieces that would never be able to be wholly put back together. 

And she did. 

After watching him walk away and return to his bike as if he didn’t just dismantle her whole world. Tearing her gaze away from his back, she turned, wiping her hands under her eyes and trying to collect herself. She carried what felt like her lifeless body up the driveway, back into her car. Mindlessly putting the keys into the ignition and beginning to drive. 

She didn’t know where she was driving to, and frankly, she didn’t care. As long as it was as far away as she could get from him and the shattered remnants of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topper redemption arc is cominggg and I’m excited
> 
> also let me know if you have any ideas that you think would work with this series! Super open to suggestions :)
> 
> kudos/comments/feedback appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elle finds a drunk Rafe on the beach after her fight with JJ and turns to him for comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was really fun to write Rafe as a big softie and explore their history together. Elle doesn’t know that Rafe killed the Sheriff. This chapter gives a little bit more info on Elle’s background and her relationships with the other characters, yay! Also Drew Starkey is everything and I want him to have more scenes in s2.

She had ended up at the beach at the bottom of her house. It wasn’t a surprise that this is where she’d end up, the water glowing in the moonlight, the waves calmly washing onto the shore. It had been a few hours since she had left JJ’s house, her mind still reeling over what had happened between them. The tears had long gone, but the churning in her stomach felt like it wasn’t ever going to end. Watching her feet as she walked along the water's edge, she heard quiet muttering coming from the beneath the tree line. 

Walking towards the sound cautiously, she caught sight of a figure moving up into a sitting position, “Hello?”, the mystery person sounded. She recognised that voice, sighing at the realisation. 

“Rafe? What’re you doing here?” Elle questioned as she moved to inspect the situation more, his face coming into focus.

“What does it look like?” he responded, arms out wide. Elle remained silent, taking note of his tear-stained face and the slight vulnerability that came through in his voice.   


“Want some?” he offered, outstretching his hand holding up an almost empty bottle of whiskey. She shook her head, taking a seat next to him, holding her bent legs close to her chest. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“What’s up with you?” he asked confusedly.

Keeping her eyes on the water so as to not give her emotions away, she asked “What do you mean?”    


“Well aren’t you supposed to be with your Pogue friends in The Cut, instead of sitting here with a kook, drinking Whiskey on Wednesday night?”. He was right. She should be with her friends right now, grieving, sharing memories, eating, Elle would’ve been happy doing  _ anything  _ with them right now. 

She remained quiet, moving her gaze away from the water to her feet in the sand, not able to find the courage to open up to  _ Rafe  _ of all people yet.

“Did something happen?” he asked softly, wary of pressing too hard, after picking up on her defeated body language.

She scoffed, “You could say that”.

He studied her side profile for a minute, “Do you wanna talk about it?”.

Elle let out a short chuckle. Never would she have imagined that she would be sitting next to a drunk Rafe considering telling him about her feelings.

So instead of doing just that, she put her defenses up, sarcasm seeping into her tone “As if you care Rafe”.

He sighed, “I know I’ve been a dick-”

“You could say that again” 

“but… things are different now”

“So what, I’m just supposed to forgive and forget all the times you’ve come after us? You, Kelce and Topper have nearly  _ killed _ us, on more than one occasion”, she snapped, her eyes narrowing to finally look at him.

Rafe swallowed, his throat working at the seriousness in Elle’s tone. And although he was drunk and couldn’t form coherent thoughts, he felt himself sobering up at her words.

“No. You’re not. You shouldn’t forgive me at all. But you’re one of the only people who would actually understand how I feel right now, and it seems to me that you need someone just as much as I do”, his voice quieting at the last part of his sentence.

Elle searched his eyes, for the smallest glimmer of insincerity, silence falling upon them once again.

“It’s just that. Usually when I need someone to talk to, I go to John B. And now that he’s, um, gone, I don’t know who to turn to” she blurted out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Rafe masked his surprise at her outburst with sympathy, “Can you not talk to the others?”

“Hard to talk to them about the issue when they’re apart of it”, she sighed, twirling with the rings on her right hand. It was one of her nervous habits that she did without realising, along with playing with her earrings. 

His eyebrows raised, finally understanding what she was upset about, “Oh”.

He paused for a minute, trying to gather his sober words amongst his drunk thoughts, “Maybe just give it some time? From what I’ve seen, you guys are like...real friends. That doesn’t just disappear after one fight”.

Elle nodded, his words somewhat comforting her.

They both looked back out to the water, a calmness washing over the both of them.

“Do you ever think that they might still be alive?”, he mumbled, taking another swig from the whiskey bottle.

She sucked in a breath, surprised at his question. Everyone was still too sensitive to talk about John B and Sarah, which made it hard for Elle to process her thoughts and emotions about the whole situation.

It was her turn to study his side profile, watching for any emotions to arise, “Yeah, sometimes. But holding on to that slim possibility, I don’t think it will do us too much good”, she confessed.

He nodded, looking at her quickly before turning back to the water, not wanting to see her reaction when he admitted this. “It was my fault”.

“What?” Elle questioned, her eyebrows furrowing.

“She’s my little sister. I was supposed to protect her. I’m supposed to protect my family”, his tone was rising, his frustration shining through.

She held a calm and steady voice, “Rafe, it’s not your fault.” 

“Yes it is Elle! I’m the reason they got on that damn boat and drove into the storm.”

“Rafe you can’t think like that. You’ll tear yourself apart!”

“A little too late for that”, he scoffed. He ran both hands through his hair before resting his arms back onto the top of his bent knees.

Elle felt an urge to open up to him. To tell him about everything that she was feeling, about her grief and her anger and her loneliness.

She shifted in her position, moving into a crossed legged position. “JJ and I had a fight”.

Rafe waited for her to continue.

“He does this thing, when things become too much for him, he pulls away and tries to shut himself off. Usually you just need to give him time to cool off and he comes back to you. But I don’t know-” Elle shook her head “this time felt  _ different _ .”

The words that came next didn’t need much preparation, “Well these circumstances  _ are _ different Elle, he probably just doesn’t know how to cope. I’m sure he’ll come back to you. I doubt he’d ever give you up by choice, that kid’s like  _ in love  _ with you”, he finished, laughing lightly.

Elle laughed, stunned by his response, “What? No he’s not!”.

He shook his head, knowing she’d deny it. “Come on Elle, you’d have to blind- or just stupid, to not be able to see that he is head over heels for you”, he turned, watching as a glimmer of hope flickered in her eyes.

“Nah Rafe, you’re being dramatic”.

“Whatever you wanna believe Elle, but trust me on this,” he paused, maintaining eye contact with for, “if I had someone who cared about me the way that you care about him, I’d never let that go”.

Elle felt her heart swell slightly. Rafe hadn’t been this kind or honest to her, in a  _ long  _ time. She gave him a close-lipped smile, grateful for his words.

Elle watched as the wheels in his head turned, waiting for what question was coming next. Her and Rafe used to be good at this, at sitting and talking and asking each other questions about their lives. 

When Rafe landed on the one he wanted to ask, he turned to her again, his eyes glazed over from his intoxicated state. “Is it fun being a Pogue?”

She took a minute to think about his question,“When you’re a Kook who doesn’t have to worry about money it’s fun. Why do you ask?”

He broke his gaze from her, looking down to the sand, drawing shapes into it with his index finger, “You guys just seem so… carefree?”. His statement came out more like a question.

“I guess. It’s easy for me to be carefree because I come from a privileged background, but uh, for the boys, there’s definitely a lot more to it. Can’t be all that carefree when you have to work 24/7 just to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head”. Her mind flashed back to JJ, the way it always seems to.

He brushed the sand off from his hand, “You know, if I was sober I definitely wouldn’t be saying this but” Elle’s heart quickened for a moment, worried about where this confession was going- “I have a lot of respect for you.”

She couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Respect? Ever since I left the Kook Academy you’ve bullied the shit out of me”. Although what she had said was of a usually serious topic, Elle kept the smile on her face, amused by this conversation.

Rafe nodded, “I know I know. But leaving this lifestyle to be with people who you  _ actually  _ love, that makes you a far better person than I’ll ever be.” He hoped she wouldn’t question him further, he wasn’t ready to hurt her more than she already seemed to be.

Thankfully, she didn’t, “Never too late to be a good person Rafe”

Moments of silence passed before Rafe sighed addressing the elephant in the room, “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“I’m sorry too,” she responded, sincerity in her tone.

Rafe’s face contorted out of confusion, “What are you sorry for?”

“Well, after everything that happened with Archer, I kind of just... got up and left you guys” she said, bowing her head to look down at the sand.

He understood what she meant. Her departure from their friendship group had been abrupt, but for a good reason. He let out a soft laugh,“I don’t blame you, he was a piece of shit”.

“Yeah he was, but we were friends.” 

“How do you trust people again after what happened with him?’’ he questioned quietly, afraid to open old wounds.

“Rafe we had a shitty relationship, it’s not like he ruined my life entirely” she laughed.

“It was more than a shitty relationship Elle. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And I should’ve told you about  _ her  _ as soon as I found out about it all”. Elle detected regret in his words, but the usual anger that she felt when thinking about Archer and her was absent. Even though it was an emotionally draining time for Elle, life seemed so much lighter back then compared to now.

“Can’t argue with that one.” she shot back, adding in a laugh to let him know that she wasn’t angry.

“Rafe-” she paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer, “how long did you know about them before I found out?”.

“Uhm,” he hesitated, “maybe like 5 months?” he confessed regrettably.

Elle nodded her head slowly, processing his answer.

“If it’s any consolation, I beat the shit out of him for you”

Elle broke out into laughter. “Yeah I don’t doubt that, but thanks, I guess?”

His face broke out into a full smile, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him smile like that, let alone be the reason for it. 

“You’re welcome.”

A cool breeze made Elle shiver, deciding that now was probably a good time to get drunk Rafe home. “Hey, we should probably get out of here”.

“Yeah you’re right, I can feel my hangover coming already”.

Elle got out her phone, unlocking it and searching for one of the numbers she never thought she’d have to call again after leaving the Academy-  _ Topper Thornton _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of made me wonder whether Rafe would be a good match for Elle. Who should she end up with, JJ, Rafe or Topper? Let me know what you think :)
> 
> kudos/comments/feedback appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After calling Topper in a time of need, Elle finds herself opening up to him after the loss of Sarah and John B.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back!! My life has been pretty hectic recently with some personal issues and I couldn't find the motivation to write. I wrote this chapter a few months back and never felt like it was finished so here it is! Hoping to continue updating :) Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> This chapter finally explains the background of Elle, how she met the Pogues, her relationship with Archer and how she found her way back to them.

Topper had been confused to say the least when he saw Elle’s contact appear on the screen. He didn’t even know that she still had his number in her phone. He thought about the last time she had messaged or called him. Surely it had been at least a year? A year and a half? Honestly, he had no idea. But it was definitely due to the vow she made to herself of never talking to him again after she’d been betrayed by nearly every Kook at the Academy. 

It still astounded her that so many people knew about Archer’s double-life, and yet  _ no one _ informed her. Topper had felt guilty for a long time after he had watched her fall apart at the news, in front of himself, Archer, his secret lover, Rafe, Kelce and numerous other Kook’s. 

At the time she thought that she’d never live that humiliating moment down, but turns out, it was the moment where everything had changed for the better. She’d made her way back to the Pogues. 

She’d met them the Summer that she’d first moved to the Outer Banks with her family, spending every spare second of her time with them. And whilst her family was falling apart, Elle was forming her own, consisting of John B, JJ and Pope. Two years later, when her parents forced her to attend the Kook Academy after consistently getting herself into trouble at Kildare County High, she’d met Archer, and he turned her whole world upside down. Whilst she maintained her relationship with the Pogues, she spent a majority of her time with Archer and his friends, conforming to the way of life that she had always  _ despised _ . You couldn’t possibly be more of a Kook than Archer. Looking back now, it’s so clear to her that he was the embodiment of everything she had hated about wealth, privilege and classism. 

And yet, despite her absence from their lives, the Pogues welcomed her back with open arms. They probably would’ve held more contempt for her if she had come back under different circumstances, but none of them could be mad at her when she had turned up at the Chateau, eyes bloodshot from crying and her head hung low. She was back, and they were eternally grateful because honestly, the Pogues weren’t the Pogues without Elle. She had been there when they’d gotten the HMS Pogue, finding it at a junkyard and hawling it back to John B’s to clean it up and fix the engine. It had been her idea to claim it as their own by stealing a pot of paint from her Dad’s garage, painting HMS POGUE across the side. 

She looked after the boys, mainly because they weren’t the best at doing it themselves, but she also did it because of how much she cared for them. Making sure they had groceries and enough money to pay bills and beds to sleep on. John B had once told her that she had “the biggest heart in the Outer Banks”, JJ following it with “and the best tits in North Carolina”, before Pope slapped him across the back of the head. She was the heart behind the Pogues, and without her, the boys had felt somewhat lost.

Returning to the Pogues wasn’t the only silver lining to the whole Archer debacle. Elle had met Kiara during her brief time at the Academy, taking a liking to her and later introducing her to the boys. They had been suspicious of course, JJ whispering “If it looks like it’s rich and it talks like it’s rich, it’s a Kook, Elle”, into her ear after bringing Kie around. 

While she had moulded well into the group, she remained at the Academy for some time before leaving, only to return back not long after for what would become known as her “Kook year”, breaking every Pogue’s heart. The boys had been mad at Elle for some time after that, for letting someone into the group, gaining their trust and then betraying it so carelessly. But that was still somewhat of a taboo topic amongst them, Kie never really expressing exactly what had prompted her return. Nevertheless, the Pogues had become complete. Or so they thought, until Sarah Cameron was roped into the gold-game, the missing piece of puzzle that they didn’t even know they needed.

Elle had been friends with Sarah whilst dating Archer, that was how she had met Kie. So when Sarah had joined after their time spent apart and after Sarah had confessed that she didn’t actually know about Archer until Elle herself found out, it felt like everything had come full circle. 

And although Topper was someone that Elle had lost trust in after Archer, she knew that he would turn up for Rafe when needed.

Topper checked the time before accepting the call,  _ 10:33pm.  _

“Hello?” he asked warily, surely she had clicked the wrong contact.

“Uh hey Topper, are you busy right now?” she asked, hesitantly. Topper could hear someone laughing in the background.

“No not really, why? Are you in trouble or something?”

Elle turned around, glancing at Rafe who had done a complete 180 from their emotional chat, to laughing at tiktoks on his phone. “Yeah, something like that”, she chuckled.

“Look, I’ve got a drunk Rafe here, and I’ve had a drink or two myself, so I can’t drop him home. Is there any chance you could come and grab him?”. She waited for his response, twisting her earring on the one ear that wasn’t pressed against the phone, her nerves getting the best of her.

“Um, okay”, he voice dragged out, clearly confused by the whole situation. “Where abouts are you?”

Elle looked around, not realising how far she had walked from the beachfront opposite her house. “At the beach in front of the Johnson’s house I think”.

Topper’s eyebrows furrowed together, what were they doing on a beach together, so far from either of their houses?

“Alright, stay put, I’ll be there in 20”, he spoke, getting up to put his shoes on and grabbing his keys.

\-----

The car ride had been awkward to say the least. After helping a drunk (and heavy) Rafe into the car, they remained silent with the low hum of the radio music playing softly. 

Once they’d arrived at Topper’s house, Rafe was taken up to the spare room where he flopped onto the bed and passed out within seconds. 

Elle stood by the kitchen counter awkwardly, looking around the house and noting the changes that had been made since the last time she’d been over a few years ago. There were obvious changes, such as the couch and a larger TV, but the feel of the house was different. It used to be a common hangout spot for the kids from the Academy but now it felt similar to Elle’s house, empty and cold.

Topper appeared at the bottom of the stairs, watching Elle as she scanned the room. He walked up to her and broke the silence, “He’s completely knocked out”, adding a chuckle in at the end.

She smiled back at him, “Good, he looked pretty tired”.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s been sleeping much”, Topper noted, grabbing the water jug out of the fridge and pouring two glasses, offering one to Elle.

She accepted the glass, muttering back, “Who can blame him”.

Silence fell upon them again, both trying to find a topic of conversation that didn’t revolve around the current tragedy of their lives.

Topper lent over the counter to rest his arms. Peering up at Elle, he asked, “How are you doing with it all?”

“I’m, uh… yeah I’m alright”

“That wasn’t very convincing”

“Hard to convince others when you don’t even believe it yourself I guess”, Elle mumbled. How was she supposed to feel  _ anything  _ after watching her two of her best friends get lost at sea? She hadn’t given herself the time to properly grieve her losses yet, distracting herself with shifts at the Wreck and babysitting the kids of the island. Her babysitting job had started out as a way to help the working parents of the Outer Banks, but had now developed into a way for Elle to feel some kind of happiness over the past few days.

“Do you..”, he paused, “do you wanna talk about it?”

Elle studied his face for a few seconds, noting the sincerity in both his eyes and voice. Although apprehensive of opening up to anyone other than her friends, who knew everything there was to know about her, letting one more person in surely couldn’t hurt. She figured she’s already felt the most pain someone could feel within the past week. Anything after this would be childs play.

“Are you sure you wanna ask that question Topp?” she responded with a teasing smile, altering the solemn mood they had created.

“Of course, I’d always listen to what you have to say”, he answered earnestly. Looking back at their history, Elle wasn’t sure if she fully believed that statement.

Nodding her head, she walked over to the charcoal grey lounge, situating herself before turning to face him, still standing by the kitchen counter. Offering him a seat on his own couch, she added “Well, how much time do you have?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elle's relationship with both Rafe and Topper is going to continue to develop, with angsty JJ making multiple appearances yay!
> 
> kudos/comments/feedback appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elle and Topper have a heart to heart after putting a drunk Rafe to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short but nonetheless here it is!

“And that’s how I ended up with a drunk Rafe on a Wednesday night”, Elle finished her story. She had explained everything to Topper, leaving out certain details about the gold and the Pogue’s that she knew weren’t for his ears. 

Topper nodded his head, studying her face for a second before drawing his eyes down to his hands that rested over the light blanket covering his legs. They’d been sitting on the couch for over two hours, with the lights on the dimmest setting. The cool Summer breeze flowing from the open glass porch doors and the sound of the crashing waves providing the perfect setting for emotions to be spilled.

“So, what’re you going to do about it all?” he pushed lightly, not wanting to make her feel any worse than she already was.

“Well, I don’t know if there’s much I can do. Clearly JJ doesn’t want anything to do with me, Kie and Pope seem to be in their own little world, and the only people who have actually asked how I’m going are you and Rafe”, she let out a slight chuckle, adding on “which is probably the strangest part of it all”.

“I know we’ve had our issues in the past Elle,” he started, making eye contact to ensure she was hearing him, his left hand reaching out and resting atop of her intertwined hands that she’d been fiddling with nervously, “but I’ll always care about you”.

Warmth creeped up her neck and flushed her cheeks, a smile gracing her face. “Thanks, Topp”.

“Um, there’s also something I should probably tell you,” Elle nodded, encouraging him to continue. “You know that night at the Church, when John B and Sarah were on the run?”, he asked, moving his eyes down to their hands still touching.

“Yeah what about it?”

“Well, I swapped clothes with John B”, he rushed out.

Elle stared at him for a moment, trying to understand what exactly he was telling her.

“What do you mean?”

“At the Church, I went up, knowing that they were in there, and I, uh… I was trying to show Sarah how serious I was about her, about us,” listening intently, Elle waited for him to finish. “She said that I could show her, by swapping clothes with John B.”

“So they could escape unnoticed?” Elle questioned, piecing the story together.

Humming in agreement, Topp flashed back to that night. Walking out of the Church with torchlights and guns pointed at him. He would never admit this to anyone but it was one of the scariest, yet proudest moments he’s had. Knowing that he was sacrificing himself for Sarah. His heart ached at the thought of her.

Elle was silent. Both stunned and comforted by Topper’s actions. Maybe some leopards do change their spots, she thought briefly. 

“That’s”, she paused, trying to find the right words, “um, that’s..” she tried again, “just, thank you.”

“I don’t deserve a thank you, I did the bare minimum Elle.”

“Yeah but you could have done nothing, and you didn’t. That says more about your character than you know Topp”.

Meeting her eyes once again, Topper felt his heartbeat accelerate, bewildered by her words. For as long as he can remember his mother has been picking his character apart piece by piece. His gaze flickered between her eyes to the freckles sprinkled across her face, down to her lips, noting how soft they looked. 

Elle could feel the warmth of breath against her lips causing her to inhale from their sudden proximity. The thought of leaning forward an inch to connect their lips briefly passed, before she suppressed it with logic. This guy had nothing but caused issues for the Pogue’s, was she really going to kiss him in a moment of weakness? Her mind flashed to golden hair and blue eyes, different to the ones currently in front of her, pulling back to reality.

She cleared her throat, brushing her hair behind her right ear. “It’s, uh, it’s probably time I head home, I’m exhausted”, she said as she rose from the couch. 

Topper ignored the sinking of his stomach, sighing slightly before nodding his head, “I can drop you home,” he offered, pushing his hands into pockets, an air of uncertainty surrounding them.

“It’s nearly 2am Topp, the Outer Banks isn’t exactly the most dangerous place after 10pm,” she laughed lightly.

“Maybe not, but there’s no way I’d be able to go to sleep knowing you’re walking home at this hour.”

Feeling surprised at Topper’s caring nature was a running theme tonight it seemed. 

Sending a shy smile his way, she nodded, praying that this leopard’s spots had permanently changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while! Thank you so much to everyone who has left kudo's and comments, I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Going to try and upload more consistently now that uni is coming to an end for the year. Also I've gotten really into OBX again so my motivation is through the roof!! yay!
> 
> Let me know if you have anything you'd like to see in this fic, and I can make it happen, always open to suggestions!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elle finds out bad news about the police investigation and calls Kie and Pope to help her decide whether to tell JJ or not.

The startling sound of Elle’s ringtone woke her from the deepest sleep she’d had the past few weeks. She’d only been able to sleep for 2 to 3 hours in bursts before waking up breathless and sweating from nightmares of the storm, so being disturbed in the middle of such a peaceful slumber irritated her. 

“Hey Dad, what’s up”, she answered, fumbling with her earring to calm her nerves after seeing his name appear on her phone.

“Hi Elle, I just got off the phone with the lawyer, and… it’s not looking too good”, he sighed. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What does that mean. “What? What are you talking about?”.

She heard her Dad let out a sigh before continuing, “Well, they’re continuing the investigation because they don’t believe you and Kie were the only ones who had anything to do with what went down. Especially with the trouble the boys have been in previously”.

Her head began to swim with all the negative possibilities that could happen. “Wait, are you telling me that JJ and Pope are getting investigated? On what evidence?”, she pushed.

“I’m not sure, Shoupe said and I quote that he ‘wasn’t allowed to disclose that’”.

“That’s bullshit!” she exclaimed, feeling herself getting angrier by the minute.

“I know darling. But he did tell me that JJ owes money, and has some possible breaking and entering charges, do you know about any of those?” Elle could feel her chest closing in on itself with the thought of JJ getting into anymore trouble. 

“No Dad of course not. Uh, what about Pope?”

“He didn’t mention anything, to be honest I think his case for Pope is a lot weaker than it is for JJ, knowing what JJ’s like”. Usually she would defend JJ, but the end of his sentence went in one ear and out the other once finding out about Pope.

Silence filled the line, Elle too caught up in her thoughts attempting to piece everything together.

“You need to stop hanging around these kids Elle, they’re clearly no good for you”

“I’ll tell you what Dad, you get a say in who I hang out with when here for more than 2 weeks at a time. Thanks for the information, I’ve got to go”, she fired back, promptly ending the call. 

Giving this information to Elle wasn’t a good idea. The most indecisive of the Pogues, she now had to debate whether to tell the others or not. She knew that she should tell them, to keep them in the loop of the investigation. But telling the boys that Shoupe was going to do a deep-dive on them, would only result in chaos. Pope would freak out, his anxiety sky-rocketing and mulling over a possible criminal record that would make all his hard work this year for his scholarship redundant. 

Elle could predict how JJ would react; rebellion or packing up and running. Neither was particularly ideal. She wouldn’t even know where to find him after 2 weeks of no contact. She ignored that dreaded feeling in the pit of her stomach that rose whenever she thought of him and tried to think logically about her options.

How could this happen? Peterkin being shot by who they believed to be Ward. John B had never gotten around to telling them who it was, but they knew that he, Ward and Sarah were the only ones present when it happened, making it an obvious no brainer. And yet, John B was the one framed, and now that he’s not around for them to blame, they’re going to place it on the next best thing, the Pogues. 

Elle paced back and forth as she contemplated what to do next, twirling her rings around her fingers, thoughts rushing through her mind, one being replaced by the next. Settling on a decision, she walked back over to her phone resting on her bed, opening up their group chat and typing out, “We need to meet. Can y’all be at mine in 30?”.

\-----

“So what’s going on?” Kie asked, plopping herself onto the outside sofa on the porch. Her and Pope had arrived together, something Elle wouldn’t have found strange previously but now left her feeling a tad uncomfortable. She was still trying to wrap her head around the idea of them together during all of this, and she was yet to properly talk to either of them about it and figure out what was actually going on.  
She took a deep breath, preparing herself for their reactions as she filled them in on everything her Dad said. 

Pope’s face visibly drained of colour, and Kie’s eyebrows creased with worry. “Oh shit, I’m done for aren’t I”, Pope said, placing his head in hands and staring at the ground. 

Elle took that as her cue to calm him down, “You’re not done for Pope, they haven’t even found anything yet”.

“Elle that doesn’t matter, they’re searching as. we. speak.”, he added, pausing between his words for emphasis of the severity of the issue.

Kie who had remained silent processing the information butted in, “Does JJ know?”.

Waving her hands around in front of them to draw attention to the three of them, she replied frustratedly, “No, as you can see, he’s a no show”. 

Kie nodded solemnly, picking up the sadness underlying Elle’s words, “So you’re still not talking”, she pressed gently.

A sarcastic laugh escaped her, “Bingo!”.

Pope looked between the girls, sensing the tone of the conversation and awkwardly adding, “I uh… know where he is, and you’re not gonna like it E.”

Her head perked up, eyebrows raised with interest, “What, where? With his dad?”.

“Not exactly”, Pope paused, trying to prepare himself for her reaction, “he’s working at Barry’s, trying to pay him back for what he stole from his place.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me, Elle thought. “I’m sorry, what? Are you joking right now? He’s working as a dealer?!”, she spoke, feeling her hands becoming clammy with stress as this conversation progressed.

Pope shook his head vigorously, “No, not as a dealer. He’s doing maintenance on the house and his land. Apparently there's enough work needed to be done to repay everything he stole”.

She couldn’t believe her ears right now. He was going to earn 30k back from doing handyman work? She let out a sigh, “This is insane. He’s literally turned to the dark side. I have money, Kie has money, why didn’t he just come to us?”.

It was Pope’s turn to let out a sarcastic chuckle, “Do you really think that JJ, our JJ, JJ Maybank, would ask you for money to pay back someone for something you told him not do in the first place. Not with his pride and stubbornness Elle”.

Pope was right. Of course he wouldn’t do that. He liked to fend for himself, for everything. There was no way he was going to actually ask anyone for help. “Do you guys think we should tell him. I think it’s just going to make things worse and I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” Elle questioned softly. 

Pope and Kie both took a couple of seconds to think. Pope finally making a decision, “Yeah, I do Elle. He’s going to end up in a much worse place than just working for Barry if we don't get him out. I tried to talk to him the other day. All he said was that I didn't need to worry about him anymore and something about freeing me from his chains, which made no sense but I know that what he meant wasn't good”. 

“Ok, I’m going to head over there and try and get him out”, Elle stated, grabbing her phone and getting ready to leave. 

Kie let out a soft laugh, “Good luck with that. If there’s anyone he loves saving him from his messes, it's you”. 

Elle could hear the sarcasm dripping off her words. She did have a habit of cleaning up his messes, whether he liked it or not. That’s what friends do right? They help you out when you need it, they give you money when you’re broke, they call you out on your bullshit? And then they ignore any attempts of contact for 2 weeks after breaking your heart? That’s how friendship works, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Hope you liked it, let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elle and JJ fight over her budding relationship with Rafe, aka angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write! It ended up being really long so I split it into 2 parts. The story is picking up more now and tensions between Elle and JJ are rising yay.

Arriving at the dump of a house that Barry called home, or as others liked to call it, the coke den, Elle took in a deep breath, holding it for a second or two before letting it out. Hopping out of the car, she stormed up the driveway past the overgrown lawn and random pieces of furniture stewed around the yard. 

The door swung on its hinges and Elle entered, Barry rising to his feet as if he was used to this kind of entrance, “Yo, what’re you doing!”.

“Where’s JJ, Barry?”, she demanded, acting much tougher than she felt.

She watched his mouth turn up into a slimy smirk, “Oh here for Maybank. What a lucky guy, coming here to rescue him,”, he paused, dragging his eyes up her body, resting on her chest for a moment before continuing. “He must have your sweet body on demand any time he likes to repay you for all the times you save his ass, huh? Tell me I'm right.”

A chill ran down her back, disgusted by his demeanor. “You’re a pig.” she scoffed, looking around the house before finding the back door. She wasted no time in pushing past him, bumping his shoulder on the way out the door.

Like always, her eyes found him immediately, in the corner of the garden pulling out weeds. His grey shirt billowed out behind him in the wind, his hair held back by his blue hat as his dirt covered hands worked on manoeuvering the weed out of the ground. She made her way over to him, trying to keep her strong attitude in his presence, “Come on Jay, you don't need to be here anymore, let's go”. 

His head shot up, recognising her voice before seeing her. Oh god what was she doing here. JJ’s seen the way people act around here, and even worse, how they get treated by Barry. Turning to look at her, he took in her crossed arms, and pursed lips. He always thought she looked adorable when she was trying to act tough but right now, he was too concerned about the fact that she was actually standing in front of him, in the coke den’s yard, with Barry watching her from the deck with narrowed eyes and a creepy grin. He stood to her height, wiping his hands on his soiled shorts and reaching out to her with his hand, “Elle, please leave, you shouldn't be here”.

Brushing off his hand, she let out a short chuckle, “Yeah and neither should you”.

For the first time in too long, JJ’s eyes connected with Elle’s, pleading her to leave. It usually didn’t take much for either of them to give in when looking into each other's eyes, but his cerulean eyes weren’t going to make her surrender this time. 

“I’ve payed him back. Get your shit and let’s go.”

JJ did a double take, “You did what?”, he asked, taking a step closer to her, his face heating up, “I don't need you to pay off my debts Elle”, he said, placing emphasis on her name.

Elle rolled her eyes, she shouldn’t really be surprised though, after all, she knew how much he hated her fighting his battles for him.“You really think he's going to let you leave once you've paid him back JJ? I know you like to play dumb but come on, give yourself some credit”.

They held eye contact as her words sunk in. She was right. Of course she was. She was always right. And JJ hated that. He hated how she knew what to say and exactly when to say it, how she could calm him down just with a few words, and rile him up with even less. For pretty much any situation, she was right, unless it was about anything to do with cars or boats or fishing. 

Barry broke up staring contest butting in, “Yo JJ, it’s alright, you can leave now. Your girl gave it all back”, holding up the bag of cash in one hand, “and then some”, he added, throwing in a slimy wink. 

In a split second JJ was in his face, holding him with two hands by the fabric of his shirt. “Look at her like that ever again and I’ll make sure she’s the last thing you see with those eyes, you piece of shit!”, he spat, shoving Barry away from him. “And stop selling coke to my Dad, he’s reselling it for more than you’re charging”, he added, trying to rile him up. His Dad would never sell his coke, unless it was for a larger amount. But JJ knew the only way to get Barry to stop selling it was if he thought that Luke was profiting off it more than Barry was. 

He felt Elle’s presence behind him, turning to her and signalling with a nod to follow him out. They thought they were in the clear as they made their way up the driveway to her car, until they heard him yell out with a teasing tone, “Hey, Rafe told me about your little rendez vous the other night Elle! If I were you, I’d be careful there sweetheart!”.

She flipped him off with both hands, feeling her stomach flip, god Rafe has a big mouth. JJ didn’t seem to react until they had both hopped into her car and began heading out of Barry’s, onto the road back to Figure Eight.

“You’ve been hanging out with Rafe?”, he asked incredulously, a slight tone of accusation slipping through.

She sighed, fed up with their constant back and forth arguing lately, “No, I haven’t”, she replied, hoping to cut this conversation topic short.

“Then what was he was talking about?”, he pressed, eager to know the truth.

Elle’s eyes remained on the roach but she could feel him staring at her side profile. “It’s nothing JJ! I bumped into him the other night and we had a conversation, that’s it”.

He let out a sarcastic chuckle, not believing her blatant lie, “Yeah that’s great Elle, fraternizing with the enemy”.

“He’s not the enemy JJ, he’s a fucked up kid who just lost his sister, one of our best friends might I add”, she responded quickly, the reality of the situation being apparently lost on him.

“Yeah who almost tried to kill us Elle!”, his voice raised, becoming more frustrated with what he was hearing, “Did you forget about that huh? When he had his hands wrapped around Kie’s throat, or when he pushed you into a wall and bruised your entire fucking body? Do you not remember that? Or do you just not care?”.

She tried to remain calm but her voice was rising too, “Of course I fucking remember it JJ!”

“Then why isn’t that enough!”, he exclaimed. “Why isn’t that enough to keep you away from him?!”.

Elle finally turned to look at him before turning her attention back to the road. Leveling out her voice, she calmly responded “Look, I found him drunk on the beach, the night of…”, she paused, unsure of how to address it, “the night of our fight. We had a conversation, I called Topper and he came and got him, nothing happened, end of story”.

Jj nodded his head, looking down at his lap. He wasn’t sure if he fully believed her, or if she was telling the truth or not, but JJ could count on one hand how many times they’d lied to each in the past. Sure they lied all the time to get themselves out of trouble or get some time to hang out away from the other Pogues when they’d missed each other. But it wasn’t something they did. They’d never had a reason to lie to each other, however, JJ couldn't help the niggling thought that maybe, after everything that's happened, and how much they'd been arguing recently, maybe that had changed.

They let silence fill the car. They needed to take a breather after the intensity of that emotional outburst. Elle debated in her head on what to say next, settling on “What do you care anyway”.

Emotions rised again once JJ let out another chuckle, bewildered at her question, “Really, Elle? Are you really asking me that?”.

Elle kept her hands on the wheel, glad that she had something to focus on right now so that she wouldn't have to see his real-time reactions. “Oh I’m sorry Jay, but the last time we talked you made it pretty apparent that you wanted nothing to do with me”, she quick fired back, sarcasm levels at an all time high.

“And yet, here you are”, he muttered, loud enough for her to hear.

She tried to contain the burst of anger that shot through her veins after hearing that. Instead deciding to change the topic, “Yeah because I have some information on the police investigation we’re involved in, just thought you might like to know about that”.

“What information?”, he calmly responded, the energy in the car changing drastically from sarcasm to curiosity. 

“Shoupe is investigating you and Pope further because he doesn’t believe Kie and I, and he’s pulling up anything you can and will be charged for”.

Looking out the window, he removed his hat, playing with it in his hands, “For fuck’s sake”, he let out a sigh, placing the hat back on, “this isn’t going to end well is it?”.

“Pretty sure you can answer that question by looking at what’s already happened”.

Elle expected him to say something. Anything. To discuss the investigation further, and ask her everything she knew, or ask him what he should do to get out of this mess. She was secretly hoping he might ask her how she’s going, or bring up John B and how much he misses him, or that he can’t believe this has happened. 

A ringing sound filled the car as Elle’s pocket vibrated, her phone connected to her cars bluetooth interrupting her train of thought. “Topper Thornton calling” displayed clearly on the screen.

“Topper? Why the fuck is Topper calling you?”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! New chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ begins to see a spark forming between Elle and Topper, bringing his feelings for her closer to the surface.

“Topper? Why the fuck is Topper calling you?”.

Elle felt herself tense up. Why was he calling her? They’d only seen each other a couple of days ago. She racked her brain for a second trying to think of reasons why, was he in trouble? Had something happened to Rafe?

“Maybe he wants to say hi?,” she asked sceptically, “ooo or invite me to a luxurious day of charming the kooks of Figure Eight”, sarcasm coating her words. JJ rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed with her responses.

“Well are you going to answer it?”, he asked, getting tired of the ringing sound.

“With you here?”, she scoffed, “Right, I don't think so”.

He shook his head incredulously, “So you apparently don't know why he's calling you but you refuse to answer because of me? Yeah that makes sense Elle”, he let out a sigh slumping back into the passenger side chair.

She rolled her eyes, sick of the way they were speaking to each other. “God why do you have to make everything such a big deal?”.

“Just answer the damn call”, he spoke, turning to look out the window.

“Fine, just shut up”, pressing the accept button and turning up the volume from her steering wheel.

“Hello?”

“Hey Elle, it’s Topp, how are you”, he answered confidently.

From the sound of his voice everything seemed okay, calming Elle for a second, “Yeah I’m um, I’m alright, you?”.

“Doing as well as I can”, he paused, sighing before continuing, “I just wanted to say, about the other night, it was uh..”, trying to find the words that he had rehearsed for about 5 minutes before calling her, “It was really nice talking to you again, like we used to”.

Elle didn't need to turn her head to know that JJ’s brows were furrowing, trying to figure out what Topper was talking about.

“Yeah, it was Topp,”, she replied sincerely, turning to look at JJ and noting how his leg was bouncing as he looked out the window, that was his telltale sign of anxiety, “is that why you called?”.

“Uh no actually”, silence filled the line for a moment, Topper trying to find the courage he needed. “I called to ask if you, uh, I don't know, wanted to come to the Island Party with me on Friday night?”

It was Elle’s turn to furrow her brows, “The Island Party? The one where everyone dresses up and celebrates absolutely nothing?”, she clarified. He was inviting her to the Island Party, a kook tradition that Pope worked at with his Dad. Last year Pope had met the pogues at the chateau afterwards, complaining about the absurd requests guests had regarding lobster preference, the others poking fun at the ridiculous lifestyle as they spread out on the couches with beers.

“Yep, that would be the one”, he laughed.

Was he asking her to be his date? She didn’t know how to respond to Topper Thornton of all people asking her out, especially with JJ sitting next to her. To say that Topper asking her out was completely unwanted on her part would be a lie. She had been thinking about the other night often, remembering how sweet he was and how he truly listened to her. Since John B and Sarah’s disappearance she was aching for someone to just listen. Not to mention their ‘almost’ moment which she had been questioning the meaning of ever since. 

Topper broke the silence, “I just thought that, it might be nice for us to hangout again and talk about everything. How’s it going with J-”.

Elle quickly cut him him off before he could continue, “You know what Topp, I’m driving right now so I’ll have a think on it and get back to you if that’s alright? Talk to you later?”.

Surprised by her response, he nodded his head on the other side of the line, “Oh alright… bye Elle”. He didn’t know whether that was a rejection or whether she really was just driving. 

She ended the call promptly, glad to have nipped that conversation in the bud before JJ was mentioned. Taking a deep inhale she prepared herself for how she was going to explain the phone call that just occurred to the boy sitting next to her.

“What the hell was that about?” he questioned, his voice holding an accusatory tone, raising his eyebrows at her.

“Did you not hear the call? He asked me to the-”

JJ cut her off, “Yeah no I heard it. But my question is why?”.

“Why?”, she repeated, confused as to what exactly he was referring to.

“Yeah, why is Topper Thornton inviting you as his date to the Island party?”, he further pressed, the word date coming out with a tone of disgust. She ignored the pang in her stomach at the idea that a date with her would arouse feelings of revulsion from him.

To mask her emotions, Elle turned on her sarcasm switch again, “I don't know, maybe so he’s not lonely”, she responded, flicking on her turn signal as they sat at the stop sign.

“Cut the sarcastic shit Elle”, JJ was clearly getting fed up with the half-assed responses he was getting, staring her down to try and crack her facade.

She sighed deeply, the car ride and the constant interrogation finally breaking her. “Not that I owe you an explanation but, the other night, I called Topper to come and pick Rafe and I up, and we got to talking about… everything”.

“Everything? What do you mean by everything”, he pressed, the concern coming out clearly.

“Relax, I didn’t tell him anything that could get us in trouble. It was just nice to have someone to talk to who actually cares”. JJ felt the sting of her words. Is that really how it looks to her? That he doesn’t care? He scoffed at the idea, if only she knew how she was all he ever thought about.

As she pulled into her driveway, silence engulfed them once again, JJ looking down at hands as he twirled his rings.

Nervously he muttered out,“So, are you gonna go with him?”.

She was surprised at his question, expecting him to keep interrogating her about what exactly she had told him. “I haven’t really thought about it”, she said, parking the car in the driveway of the chateau and pulling the keys out of the ignition before turning to look at him. “Do you think I should?”.

JJ’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t expect her to ask for his opinion on this, and he couldn't tell if his head was screaming no because Topper was a piece of shit or if it was because if anyone should be making Elle their date, it should be him. 

He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring what his heart was telling him to say and settling on “If you want to, go for it”.

Elle pulled her gaze away from his eyes, feeling a familiar sinking sensation start in her stomach. She was stupid to think that he might’ve told her not to, and that Topper isn’t the type of guy that she should be going on dates with. Looking down at her lap and nodding her head, she accepted his answer, which felt more like a rejection, and after composing herself opened her car door.

“Pope and Kie are waiting for us inside, we should probably head in”, she said, pulling herself out of the car and heading inside, trying to ignore the dagger she felt wedged through the chest.

JJ hadn't taken his eyes off of her since he had responded, waiting to see how she would react and if he could gage how she really felt about them. Watching her slam the door shut and make her way up to her front door, JJ could feel his stomach tighten, removing his hat and running his hand through his hair before placing it back on. Letting out a final sigh, he followed her in, wishing that he had the balls that Topper so clearly had.

**Author's Note:**

> Any/all feedback is welcome! Let me know if you'd be interested in this being a series!!


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